holly

Thu, 01 Jul 2004 03:15:57 GMT

This is for the MOTHERFUCKER that called my house last night:

YOU DO NOT WANT TO FUCK WITH MY FAMILY. You think that's fuckin funny? you feel good about yourself acting like an ignorant, degenerate, asshole? Well here's whats up: message- saved. When i find out who ALL of you are-cops:harrassment:DONE. And i have a REAL good feeling i know at least ONE SOURCE behind this shit, so watch your fuckin back kid. you're already on my-and quite a few others- shit list. you fucking asshole. you should know better than that fucking dueche bag...jeruselem???? please. why didnt you just leave your fuckin name and number bitch, it would've been just as effective.of all the fucking stupid, immature things to do...honestly... how is hurting honest to god good fucking people fun for you?? lucky for you my parents are good enough people to say "fuck it, assholes will be assholes" but i'm not so forgiving. this wont be the last you here from me.

better get your friends to fess up too, you dont wanna be the only one who goes down for this.

i'm not this dumb

Sun, 06 Jun 2004 01:05:07 GMT

This is for amy and jess cause i did it to them

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends? How close?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do/Did you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression of me?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

i'm a tool

Sat, 29 May 2004 05:01:57 GMT

i didnt do it.

and then i did it again.

and continued to not do the good it.

and now what do i do? nothing for now i guess. i'll fix it in my own way in my own time. many people dont understand how or why i do the majority of the things i do, but that's the way i work so just let me be, let me do, free me to fuck things up because i'm not actually fucking things up and my superior genius will not be appreciated in this life time anyway. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA okay, so i know theres no excuse for my behavior but i had ya goin for a tic didnt i?

ohhhhhhh, i'm going to die in a dumpster behind a cvs. i floss though.

thoughts were so loud i couldnt hear my mouth

Thu, 27 May 2004 12:58:09 GMT

everybody give it up for holly serna, i've made a new record and that is an 11 hour relationship! Whoooooooooo! that even beats 11th grade when i went with kevin for 18 hours.

needless to say, i'm not marriage material.

but i really do have a good reason and if i talk to you, youll probably get the whole scoop so dont think im sketchy just yet...well actually, the story's not much better either.............. but i'm doing the right thing.

and while i'm talking about it, ever realize that you say the stupidest cheesiest shit when you're mid-sexual contact that sounds good at the time and then later you're like, 'what the hell was that?'

my new favorite-"i'll do things to you you've only dreamed about." yeah, worst part........i was the one who said it.

"she didnt miss a beat, she was like'gimme the butter baby!'"

how ya doin kiddo?

Wed, 26 May 2004 11:39:39 GMT

EAT ME Sean Kerry County Wright! I didnt cave!!! HA! .....

then again, i didnt have the chance. i was all prepped to kick some managerial ass, but then i said " did you get my note?" he said " yes." i silently anticipated the outburst and then .... " so the 31st?" Me: Yeah. Barry: ok. ???????????
he didnt seem happy, he DID try to get me to stay, but no pushiness, no outbursts, in fact, he called me "kiddo."

Anyway, i got what i wanted. Now im done. and where's YOUR update by the by????????????????????? Too cool? Too cool for school? youre a tool. fool. go DROOL in a POOL and sit on a STOOL with no seat then turn into a MULE and eat GROOL. Listen to JEWEL. O'Doyle RULES!!!

Tool.

F**K Keene

Mon, 24 May 2004 02:24:35 GMT

I was going to let barry make me stay until cami gets back from vacation and then it occurred to me that i DONT LIKE barry I DONT LIKE my job I DONT LIKE driving to keene every day and I DONT CARE if barry doesnt like me...so i'm going to tell him that i cant come in after may 31...ha, fuck him. fuck 3rd shift. fuck keene. i WILL stand my ground, i wont pussy out like is typical behavior from me... so this is it, my last week there. 847- I'M COMIN HOME!!!!!!!!

Who's cuter? As seen in vice magazine

Tue, 18 May 2004 11:33:05 GMT

Here are your options. It’s up to you.

That makes a great header and everything, but there's actually way more categories than that. There's "weird-race" babies, which are like Persian, Pakistani, or half Native American and half white, or whatever. Then there's all the Asia countries and…well, that's about it besides blacks and whites. A lot of rap and funk songs will try to convince you there's races like blue and red because they're trying to make statements about how frivolous racism is, and that's fine and everything, but the only blue babies you're ever going to see in real life are in a dumpster, and the only red baby I've ever seen is when Rainman put Tom Cruise in the hot tub and kept yelling, "Hot water burn baby! Hot water burn baby!" Anyhoo, let's break it down.

WEIRD-RACE BABIES
These ones are fucking cute because you can't tell what they're going to be. Will she grow up to be a mind-blowing babe, or will she end up looking like that weird humanimal dude that devoted his life to looking like a cat? A lot of mixed-race couples will even make love to each other just to see what the baby will turn out as. It's weird.

ASIA BABIES
These guys fucking KILL IT when they get to be about three years old. Good luck competing with them, especially if they're twins. This little guy isn't exactly destroying us, but when he gets some little red cords on and helps his sister with something, you are going to shit yourself.

BLACK BABIES
It's hard to compete with black babies because they've got that fuzz head thing that usually blows everyone else away. Throw in some huge eyelashes and some chubby cheeks, and you're basically looking at a cartoon bug.

WHITE BABIES
These are an acquired taste. They're not cute like a bug and they don't have big black eyes like the other races, but they have something happening in a "funny little man" way. Like, if you were to put a suit on this guy and sit him behind a desk, you could almost hear him saying, "Jennifer, I like you. We all do. But you have to understand, General Motors is about teamwork and if you can't learn to hand in your purchase orders with the rest of your team I'm not sure we can keep you on here." He's literally a tiny dad.

CHRISTI BRADNOX

Tue, 18 May 2004 11:28:50 GMT

trying to get tonight off...

Tue, 18 May 2004 01:34:49 GMT

Photo by Geoffrey Brown

Want to know about all the different kinds of friends? Welcome to the Friendship Forest. It can be a treacherous place, but its rewards are warmth, hugs, understanding, and chuckles. The ultimate goal is finding your BFF, but you'll really have to do some spelunking through thorns and brine to meet the magical unicorn that shits ice-cream cones and cries daffodils.

If you do find her, she will promise to be your best friend forever. If you ever betray her you will have to leave your whole scene and end up all Sex and the City with some cackling JAPs from your office that you hate (plus their assorted shitty dogs and moms) for the rest of eternity.

Here are some surefire guidelines to tell if the type of person you're hanging out with is a friend or just some douchebag using you for your car/other friends/money/couch.

FRIENDS MAKE YOU THINGS
Starting in ancient times, girls made each other friendship pins and stuck them to their shoelaces. These are just safety pins ornamented with plastic beads, sometimes sparkly! They mark your friend territory. Think of them as the platonic girl equivalent of tomcat pee. As we grow, friendship pins develop into mixtapes and then mix CDs (although iPod-sharing is now ruining this fine tradition by turning everyone into mix sluts). My friend Cindy makes dresses for a living for lots of money but she gives them to me for free. Not because I deserve it, but because I don't and she loves me anyway.

Friends like to exhibit friendship by returning from thrifting expeditions bearing gifts that pertain to your special obsessions. For me, that would be owls. Extra good friends will even make you a little book of photos of you guys together.

Friends will also give you clothes that maybe they got too fat to fit into but they fit you and your friend is actually happy to be able to have you wear them and she's not jealous at all.

FRIENDS ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE
This is a friend prerequisite. I hate when people screen calls. Everyone thinks they're a drug dealer with their cell phone. Like my call isn't important enough to take while they're in the middle of checking Friendster? It's stoops in charge.* Either pick up the phone or call me back that day. You are not that busy, Donald Trump. What do you have to do, get ready for the Governor's Ball? We're all fucking occupied, but we make time for what counts. Like friendship.

Also, if they genuinely can't get the phone, a real friend will leave an outgoing voicemail message with a joke that only all their friends will get. Which leads me to…

FRIENDS ANNOY EVERYONE ELSE WITH THEIR STUPID PRIVATE JOKES
Would you know what I meant if you heard me say, "Dazzle, dazzle, scoop de jour, pride!" to my friend Derrick, or "Paint yourself a picture of an afternoon delight" to my friend Ben? No? Good, you shouldn't. Those jokes are private.

Secret languages can also form an ironclad friendship bond. For example, consider Hanna and Emily, two BFFs since high school. They communicate in their own magical tongue. It's called Swedish, and you can't learn it from a book! Together they use it to talk shit about people in front of their faces, and it brings them closer every day.

FRIENDS KEEP SECRETS
Well, the important ones anyway. Like Jennifer really didn't want me to tell anyone she had an abortion, but we're not friends anymore because she stopped taking my phone calls. So I told everybody. To test out a new friend, tell them you used to have a weird little nubby tail, but make it a real sob story so they believe you. Then see how long it takes to ride the gossip express back to your station. If they don't tell anyone, they're a keeper.

Wait, they actually might just be boring. If it does get back to you that you had a tail, don't trust them, but keep them handy for spreading rumors about other people.

FRIENDS COPY EACH OTHER
This is another ancient ritual, dating back to the Egyptians, when Ramses II totally copied the way Ramses I tortured the Israelites (with sticks). Ally Sklover, my BFF from high school, copied my Adidas Sambas, but I got her back by rocking a pink tracksuit. We're BFFs, so it's all good. Friends also copy words and claim they started them, which led to a great war among my friends in 1999 over who started the word fagét (which means "an effeminate straight guy").

This is not to be confused with friends who claim they started trends that they clearly did not, like my friend Peter who said, "You know how everyone is moving to L.A.? I totally started that!" Er, what?

FRIENDS CALL POISON CONTROL WHEN YOU OVERDOSE ON RED BULL
Let's say you're at a party, and the only free drinks are vodka and Red Bull, and you are currently on the wagon. So you proceed to drink Red Bull after Red Bull. By your sixth Red Bull, you start to believe that you are in fact, a red bull, so you go home and repeatedly ram your head into the wall. You start to panic when you can taste your heart beating. So you call your BFF and she races over at 4 a.m. with Xanax in hand. When you don't calm down, she calls Poison Control, who tell her to take you to the hospital immediately. But you don't want to go, so instead she rubs your back until you fall asleep, and then she quietly leaves.

FRIENDS CUDDLE
Or make out. On rare occasions, they even fuck. It's true! Some friends can make love in the name of friendship and having orgasms, and it will still be cool. It does happen. Especially on road trips. In seedy motels. In Alabama. With a dildo you bought "as a joke."

The best thing, though, is making out with your friends "for practice." If you develop a crush on your friend after a steamy game of Seven Minutes in Heaven, you might get lucky and end up in a full-on Monica-Chandler love explosion. If not, get ready to cry 4-ever. Well not forever, but for a really long time (five days).

FRIENDS BEAT PEOPLE UP FOR YOU
I was at a show, standing on a chair, and I didn't know where to put the bottle cap from my beer. I thought it would be hilarious if I silently placed it on top of this random dude's head. And it was! Until the guy saw me laughing hysterically and realized what I'd done. Then he was like, "Stop laughing at my expense!" (He literally said that.) And he pushed me off my chair onto the floor. My friend Gus got right up in his grill and was like, "Dude!" and he pounded him, even though Gus just got out of jail. Now that guy and everyone around him know that shoving a girl is different.

FRIENDS ARE AT LEAST CORDIAL TO YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND EVEN IF THEY THINK HE/SHE IS BORING, ANNOYING ON COKE, NOT ABLE TO PLAY "CELEBRITY," OR A FUCKING JUNKIE LIAR
That's all there is to say about that one.

FRIENDS TELL YOU WHEN YOU'RE BEING A DICK
For instance, just a minute ago my roommate, Christi Bradnox, made an AIDS-baby joke, and I was all, "Whoa, dude, not cool. In a different context, maybe, but not this time." Then she made another joke about cancer, but that one was actually pretty good.

Conversely, a real friend is not allowed to get mad at another friend's goofy and pointless jokes, like the time Amy stormed out of an otherwise fun Japanese dinner just because Gavin made a joke about not liking girls with asymmetrical labia. Come on, Amy. That doesn't even mean anything. Asymmetrical labia?

They were in a fight for a year after that.

FRIENDS GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE, MAYBE EVEN A THIRD
Like my friend Judi, who let me work at her store. My first day there I showed up an hour late wearing a ripped Van Halen T-shirt and cutoff jean shorts, my eyes basically sewn shut with crackhead crud. She looked at me like, "What the fuck?" and I slurred, "Dude, if you give me a bump of coke or a bong hit, I'll be fine." She looked at me sadly and said, "Lesley, go home." To this day, she is still my friend, and she even lets me work at the store sometimes. Also, I used to intern at Vice and do bumps of heroin in the bathroom every 15 minutes, and look, they still love me! I believe that true, true friendship is unconditional. I've seen guys hook up with their best mate's girl, and sooner or later they forget about it, cuz most of the time you like your friends better than you like your slutty girlfriend. Holding a grudge is pretty annoying, and it sucks to ignore your funniest friend. Think about all the good times you'd be missing out on and all the giggles you won't get to share.

Why are you crying? I'm being nice.

LESLEY ARFIN
*stoops in charge: adjectival phrase meaning "stupid." Comes from "gnarls in charge," an adjectival phrase meaning "gnarly" that is based on the title of the popular TV show Charles in Charge.

Tue, 18 May 2004 00:46:25 GMT

amy if you could please remove the ' i eat shit' picture from my journal i'd be much obliged, thank you.

Mon, 17 May 2004 12:45:08 GMT

10 bands you've been listening to a lot lately:
1) Modest Mouse
2) piebald
3) mu330
4) tuesday
5) korean girl
6) broken social scene
7) sleater-kinney(thanks for my cd back a-hole)
8) luscious jackson
9) hole
10) b.spears

___09 things you're looking forward to:
1) summer with emmy!!! '04
2) not working in keene
3) my 21st bday
4) punching josh in the face
5) school
6) brians 21st(june 9)
7) EMMY's 21(oct 20)
8) having children
9) punching josh in the face

___8 things you like to wear:
1) hoodies
2)jeans
3) make up
4) my new green shoes
5) pajamas
6) new underwear
7) new socks
8) tampons

___07 things that annoy you:
1) ROOMMATES
2) liars
3) cocky guys cocky girls
4) sisters
5) dumb bitches
6) scene kids
7) hicks/white trash

___06 things you say most days:
1)i hate my job
2) i dont wanna go to work
3)woota- whoo, mumma!
4) night daddy, love you, dont forget to wake me up
5) no(in response to amys various pleas... lets go for a ride, wipe my ass...etc)
6)am i fat?

___05 things you do everyday:
1) shower
2) laugh
3) smoke butts
4) eat
5) #1 and #2

___04 people you want to spend more time with:
1) em
2) kerry
2) my parents
3) alex
4) alex

___03 movies you could watch over and over again:
1) dumb and dumber
2) cat in the hat
3) that sketchy movie about oz after dorothy left
___02 of your favorite songs at the moment:
1) "float on"-modest mouse
2 "army of me"-bjork
___01 person you could spend the rest of you life with:
1)ummm...hmmmm...goin out on a limb here, but im gonna have to go with ernie.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAHHAZHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAha ha cough ha.

Mon, 17 May 2004 11:38:01 GMT

There is an e-mail that my mumma aent me that id like to send out to you people but i dont have the energy right now.

im not sure if i really wanna do this...

Wed, 12 May 2004 08:34:03 GMT

BUT...

Alright. I'll come back. ONLY because i like scott. I hate CVS, but i like scott. So I'll come back. BUT IT MAY NOT BE PERMANENT... but then again, you know me, i'll end up there forever. UGH, why i'm doing this i dont know...

Okay. It's settled then.

Ugh, I WISH you hadnt told me he wanted me back so bad...i wouldve moved on, done something else...

And this is absolutely certain, if scott leaves i'm out.

DAMMIT.

I hate CVS.

JOshy Joshy Joshy

Tue, 11 May 2004 10:42:03 GMT

My last entry was rude and uncalled for. Well, not uncalled for but rude, yes. and i was laying awake at 4 this morning because i couldnt sleep and i was thinking about joshua m murray and something he said to me this weekend that meant alot to me to hear...ALOT, for several reasons and so basically, josua m murray- i love you soooo much. We HAVE to be friends- the way we are now- for the REST OF OUR LIVES.

THIS IS NOT A THREAT IT'S A PROMISE.

Sweet-cheeks.

Ha.

-holly

Why Josh Murray Is the most repulsive human being on earth...Alphabetically

Fri, 07 May 2004 11:31:35 GMT

A- Actually uses a BOXCUTTER to clip his toenails. A BOXCUTTER.
B- Belches rudely and does not excuse himself.
C- Consistently refers to his penis as "my 10 inch cock"
D- "Daaaah...can i finger you?"
E- Eats like a pig
F- Franco obsession
G- Giggles like a little school girl when tickled
H- "Her hyman broke like a levy.."
I- Impossible to argue with
J- Judgemental
K- Keeps old coffee cups in car for months
L- "Like my 10" cock!" among many other 'choice' favorites make repeated appearences in his speech
M- Mystery fluids haunt every inch of fabric in his car
N- Never combs his hair
O- Only brushes his teeth in the morning...morning breath? furry plaque teeth????? Ugh.
P- Phony lacrosse stories and dinosaur resurecting parents
Q- Quietly farts and then tells you about it weeks later
R- Random facial hairs sprout out like maniac shrubbery on his baby face
S- Smelly car, smelly room, likes BOD...
T- Taco sauce even knows he's disgusting and spurts itself onto his clothes at work
U- (my personal favorite...) Urinates while driving
V- Very open about his sex life (see 'H')
W- Wrinkled work pants(hahaha, that was a funny night)
X- eXotic bug species grow in his room(his MOM has to clean it for him)
Y- Yaks alot..(i dunno, y's hard)
Z- Zipper always part way down

Now, after reading this, you might find yourself wondering why- if he's so disgusting and obnoxious and smelly- why would i love him? Why is he my best friend? Well, the answer is....see above.:)

this one goes to kerry...

Thu, 06 May 2004 11:30:19 GMT

FUCKIN' WHORE!!!! EAT MY SHIT, BITCH!

P.S.- I fucked Matias(sp???)

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!!!

Love you!

oh, turns out it's not just me who doesn't like Barry, it's everyone.

I hope you had the time of your life

Thu, 29 Jan 2004 23:21:07 GMT

It's done now. I'm officially not employed at the Pheasant Lane Mall. I cried like a baby last night and then again today. This is a lot harder than i thought it was going to be. Don't forget about me! I had the best four years of my life thus far as stupid as that may sound...you know, taking into consideration the abundance of bitching i've done about that place. the truth is, i've never felt like i belonged somewhere more then when i hung my keys up in the safe last night.

i hope im not making a mistake.

on the brighter side, i'm finally going to go to school and toni lombardozzi and k-swee cant yell at me anymore..." serna, what are you doin'? get outta there."

so i guess all i have to say now is PARTY! MY HOUSE! BE THERE!

love you guys

hello everybody!

Wed, 28 Jan 2004 18:29:22 GMT

Ok, so i dont write in here at all but i just randomly decided to look at it today and happened to see that K-SWEE found me!!! Dude, love ya and miss ya! Screen name is gabunk2847. And Jess Whelan- love ya lots!!! Miss you!!!
I'm moving this weekend. u can still call my cell and i have a number for my place but i forget it...i'll post that soon.
so i'm on my way to my last day at CVS store #847...to the crew- it's been real. I'll miss you guys.
k, peace out y'all! Contact me!

Tue, 27 May 2003 04:11:13 GMT

i forgot to use my icon thingys.

Tue, 27 May 2003 03:57:08 GMT

When you hate somebody that you used to love, it's hard to escape the feeling that you wasted your time ever loving them. Even worse, you dont realize until everything is done that discreetly over time, they robbed you of pieces of your personality that you dont even notice slipping away when it's happenening. I used to be funny. I used to be really nice. I used to be happy and part of something big. even when no-one else understood it, i was at home there. For the past couple days, i've been losing my mind trying to come to terms with this change, because it's finally real and permenant. I've poured most of my energy into thining about the past, what went wrong, who fucked over who...and at the end of it all, i just feel like saying "Fuck You." And that's it. I came to that realization tonight. I'm just done. I'm not even upset anymore. This journal entry makes me sound like a lame emo kid which is just another reason to despise the source. So "fuck you" again. Next entry might just be an abc list of "fuck you's." actually, that'll be really fun. I'll get josh to help.

Sun, 18 May 2003 02:35:24 GMT

i have a headache.